Monday, May 08, 2006
Somehow this messy state seems oh so familiar. I find myself staring out of the balcony, looking at the people in the park playing. The children are having fun, they make noise and play. Run around the place and just enjoy that little time that they are given with the ones they wanna be with. Sweet aint it? That's what i thought too.
Unknowingly i was brought back to many places, those where i had fun at. Places(and person) i enjoyed being at and had a great time with. It all seems so fake now, so made up. Like it never happened before, like it was my imagination all along. Seemed so surreal.
A friend told me; pictures are memories that might fade with time, but they won't be erased. Unless you erase it with the very hand that you used, to create that memory. Its funny i actually fully understand all that. Because most of the time, i find his theories quite hard to comprehend.
As i stare at the pictures that seemed to be filled with laughter and smiles, i thought; was it ever for real? A smile was brought onto my face, somehow i know a part of it WAS pure happiness, even if it was a small part, i'm content.thinking, still thinking.
nik homebound died at